When I was a kid on the rez, there were dozens of Indian men who'd fought in WW2, Korea, and Vietnam. I was far too young back then to understand how many of them suffered with PTSD and how that affected their behavior.
I always have trouble talking about going into the service because I did nothing, went no where, and ended up leaving after a year due to getting busted up. It's a complicated story, but the training part was something I felt I would write about one day, hilarious and bizarre as it was. However, the whole "stolen valor" thing always struck me as unforgiveable, but in many ways understandable. If anyone ever said the cringe inducing "thank you for your service" I would always immediately spring to "I didn't do anything, and nothing came of it". I felt like the only people I could really talk to about it was people who were in the service before, because it all made sense to them having experienced first hand what the bureaucracy of the Army was like. I debated going back in after 9/11 but the thought of going through all that again just to have my knees try and fuck me again seemed a worse prospect than seeing combat. The only Vietnam vet I knew growing up was my buddy's dad, and while he came back intact, he had that distant affect that told you it wasn't a thing to be spoken about. When memorial day swings around I always think about him. He never had flags in his yard, he never went to the VFW, he essentially left it out of his life. But I also understood the guys that went to combat, had a go of it, and felt like the true story wasn't enough. But hearing about a guy that had two purple hearts but said he had 3 is bonkers two me. Like dude, one purple heart is more than 99% of the people in the service ever had. Almost NO ONE sees active hot zone combat. But then again, I can't begin to fathom the kind of mental damage that kind of injury does to someone, let alone being in an environment where that kind of thing is even possible. I get that people hate stolen valor, and that often those people that do the stealing are out to exploit people, but at the end of the day some dude spinning yarns at the local tap house, esp. one that did in fact serve and come home fucked up, seems to me like going overboard. Why out a guy like that? Just seems punitive, and also makes me question what kind of fear or demons the authors of such an outing have to motivate them to do that to another vet... Idk, maybe its just me. Call bullshit when you see it, sure. But let's not make this in to an occupation or some kind of crusade. Everyone that serves has some kind of "well I wasn't X level" or "I never got shot at" type shit. To me that is what drives that kind of behavior to begin with, feeling like your service as a motor pool guy or whatever is a lesser form of service than some boot who was deployed but never saw combat, vs some guy that was airborn, vs a ranger vs and SF and on and on. I think part of the reason the whole "quiet professional" thing was standard back in the day is to keep this kind of FOMO or shame from being operative. If no one bragged about there service there was no reason to feel like you didn't do enough. But anyways, another novel another day. Good read as always on a Monday even!
If it was for money, or pride, fame or some such it would track for me in some way. But it's just Internet validation from what I can see, the Likes from people you will never know and likely wouldn't want to. Just confusing to me full stop.
There is a guy on youtube (Andy Stumpf), one of the many ex-seals in the podosphere and he harps on this alot. Something along the lines of "that is what you USED to do for a living, but what matters is what and who you are now." I understand it is very attractive to play "remember when" especially to dudes, but to cling on to stuff you did when you were a kid is gonna make the present look so much less valid in comparison. I just want folks to find some peace in who they are instead of rabbit hunting shit they can't change.
His story is so so sad. I couldn’t conceive of the day after leaving the hospital and going home. We honor, profile, and hold parades for those who return, but forget guys like this.
People are good at a lot of things right in front of their noses, but we tend to shit the bed when it comes to the low visibility things. There are parts of my fridge that have science projects in it, and I look in that thing a dozen times a day. I think we are generally getting better, but its still a hard row to hoe.
When I was a kid on the rez, there were dozens of Indian men who'd fought in WW2, Korea, and Vietnam. I was far too young back then to understand how many of them suffered with PTSD and how that affected their behavior.
I always have trouble talking about going into the service because I did nothing, went no where, and ended up leaving after a year due to getting busted up. It's a complicated story, but the training part was something I felt I would write about one day, hilarious and bizarre as it was. However, the whole "stolen valor" thing always struck me as unforgiveable, but in many ways understandable. If anyone ever said the cringe inducing "thank you for your service" I would always immediately spring to "I didn't do anything, and nothing came of it". I felt like the only people I could really talk to about it was people who were in the service before, because it all made sense to them having experienced first hand what the bureaucracy of the Army was like. I debated going back in after 9/11 but the thought of going through all that again just to have my knees try and fuck me again seemed a worse prospect than seeing combat. The only Vietnam vet I knew growing up was my buddy's dad, and while he came back intact, he had that distant affect that told you it wasn't a thing to be spoken about. When memorial day swings around I always think about him. He never had flags in his yard, he never went to the VFW, he essentially left it out of his life. But I also understood the guys that went to combat, had a go of it, and felt like the true story wasn't enough. But hearing about a guy that had two purple hearts but said he had 3 is bonkers two me. Like dude, one purple heart is more than 99% of the people in the service ever had. Almost NO ONE sees active hot zone combat. But then again, I can't begin to fathom the kind of mental damage that kind of injury does to someone, let alone being in an environment where that kind of thing is even possible. I get that people hate stolen valor, and that often those people that do the stealing are out to exploit people, but at the end of the day some dude spinning yarns at the local tap house, esp. one that did in fact serve and come home fucked up, seems to me like going overboard. Why out a guy like that? Just seems punitive, and also makes me question what kind of fear or demons the authors of such an outing have to motivate them to do that to another vet... Idk, maybe its just me. Call bullshit when you see it, sure. But let's not make this in to an occupation or some kind of crusade. Everyone that serves has some kind of "well I wasn't X level" or "I never got shot at" type shit. To me that is what drives that kind of behavior to begin with, feeling like your service as a motor pool guy or whatever is a lesser form of service than some boot who was deployed but never saw combat, vs some guy that was airborn, vs a ranger vs and SF and on and on. I think part of the reason the whole "quiet professional" thing was standard back in the day is to keep this kind of FOMO or shame from being operative. If no one bragged about there service there was no reason to feel like you didn't do enough. But anyways, another novel another day. Good read as always on a Monday even!
Seems akin to 1819 outing Copeland. Why? Lovely comment truly
If it was for money, or pride, fame or some such it would track for me in some way. But it's just Internet validation from what I can see, the Likes from people you will never know and likely wouldn't want to. Just confusing to me full stop.
Well said. Too often these guys are forgotten and entombed. Their fiction is their escape.
There is a guy on youtube (Andy Stumpf), one of the many ex-seals in the podosphere and he harps on this alot. Something along the lines of "that is what you USED to do for a living, but what matters is what and who you are now." I understand it is very attractive to play "remember when" especially to dudes, but to cling on to stuff you did when you were a kid is gonna make the present look so much less valid in comparison. I just want folks to find some peace in who they are instead of rabbit hunting shit they can't change.
His story is so so sad. I couldn’t conceive of the day after leaving the hospital and going home. We honor, profile, and hold parades for those who return, but forget guys like this.
People are good at a lot of things right in front of their noses, but we tend to shit the bed when it comes to the low visibility things. There are parts of my fridge that have science projects in it, and I look in that thing a dozen times a day. I think we are generally getting better, but its still a hard row to hoe.