Puncturing the Princess Fantasy

On sandbox diplomacy, astroturfing, and the defenders of the kingdom of Markle

“Do you spend a lot of time thinking about his pinky toe?”

This question, posed sarcastically to me yesterday by a 9-year-old, after I told her I’d been thinking about her dad’s sore toe. Unlike the guy who once measured my foot at a shoe store and turned out not to work there, I don’t as a rule pay attention to other people’s feet, but I do care about her dad’s overall wellness and thus, the concern.

I found out over the weekend that there are a lot of people who purport to be concerned with the overall wellness of Meghan Markle, the American actress who in 2018 married Prince Harry and became the Duchess of Sussex. This concern can take the form of what seems to me a sort of sandbox diplomacy, full of figurative rock-throwing and shin-kicking and tantrum-tears and the flinging of a poo little Suzy surreptitiously deposited in the corner, all in service of defending their princess from any unflattering glare. They will not have you puncture the princess fantasy, the one on which little girls are suckled and which Markle is getting to live out, goddammit.

Modern princesses have more to overcome than evil stepmothers, and it would be interesting to know whether the hundreds (thousands?) who came at me on Twitter have shown concern for the four Saudi princesses held in captivity and ostensibly drugged for more than 15 years. My guess is no; it’s not really in their wheelhouse to tangle with the Saudis, not when, with a few keystrokes, they can rally #SussexSquad to pounce on a woman (that’s me!) who had the temerity to say a slice of ostensibly Markle-baked cake looked dry…