“Nicholas Eberstadt is coming over,” Matt Welch told me about a week ago; that he would be interviewing Eberstadt for The Fifth Column, about Eberstadt’s 2016 book Men Without Work, which he updated post-pandemic. The numbers, it would turn out, as I leafed through the concise and startling book, are not good: 1 in 7 American men are considered NILF - Not in the Labor Force - a designation separate from those categorized as Unemployed. Whereas the latter are looking for jobs — plentiful in the post-pandemic economy - the former are not. Many recede from life altogether, relying on the U.S.’s generous and easily gamed disability archipelago, disappearing into opioid and other addictions, watching on average 5.5 hours of television a day, while caring for children and/or others less than any segment of the working-age population.
"There is absolutely nothing good that comes out of this trend," Eberstadt said. "It isn't like the seven million dropouts are working in community gardens or brushing up on their Schopenhauer or whatever. What this trend has meant is slower economic growth for the country, wider income and wealth gaps, more dependence on government welfare programs, more pressure on fragile families, less social mobility, less involvement in society, and a lot more deaths of despair."
During the interview, Matt teases a woman whose name rhymes with “Schmancy Bobbleman” for blaming some of this recession on feminist ideology, and it’s true this woman did say that. During the most recent episode of Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em (“Men Are Very Necessary”), Schmancy took the opportunity to expand on what she meant:
“If it were insinuated, or if it were hammered at you, by men, ‘I don’t need you, I can do this by myself, I can do everything by myself. I’m strong, I’m capable, I’m smart, I’m going to take every opportunity… and you are basically disposable.’ We are going back to Gloria Steinem writing, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”… I think that is the crisis we do have for men a lot of the time in the workforce. Everybody wants to be appreciated. You want to be an important part of whatever dynamic you are in... and if you’re in a society where you’re told you don’t really have a role, where you’re treated with a sort of contempt because of your immutable characteristics - the fact that you’re a man… I can see how people would want to escape, would say, ‘I’m not wanted here.’”
You can listen to the episode here.
If you are of a mind, wade into the comments, people telling us how men they know, or they themselves, have experienced being told they are of no use; how hurtful it was when women they thought were their friends would post “how there should be a moratorium on hiring men for jobs and show photos of their ‘male tears’ coffee mugs.” Such displays are unkindness and insecurity dressed up as a movement, I have zero respect for it so, sure, call me Schmancy.
(Also read Matt’s follow-up piece in Reason, “Americans Are Losing Their Work Ethic” [with graphs for you graph geeks], and hear him read that on the Paloma Media podcast.)
If we are talking 1 in 7 men, then nearly all of us know someone languishing in this situation. I do; I’ve had them in my family, if with variation. I invite you to send me a message about someone you know going through this, or if you yourself are experiencing it. It’s a conversation we should be having and I am ready to further stitch that together. I’ve already received a message from a friend I had not heard from in a while:
Your Smoke Em episode about men out of the work force hit me hard. My older brother has been a NILF since the beginning of Covid and it’s destroying his life. He sits around chain smoking in his living room watching cable news and arguing politics on Facebook all day. His 19 year old daughter takes care of him, cooks, laundry, cleans, etc. He’s not elderly or disabled. He just isn’t willing to take a shitty job, but is also not willing to try to work up a ladder or learn something new. My mother enables him by giving him money, with the excuse that she is helping her granddaughter. But the granddaughter is the responsible breadwinner and won’t move out of the house because she feels obligated to take care of her dad. It drives me crazy.
This is a crisis, one that will drive us crazy and break our hearts and take the American economy god knows where while our loved ones sink into lives of despair. I don’t have the answers, other than to repeat what I said above, that everyone wants to be appreciated, and that appreciating people is within our means.
Quick note 1: Sarah and I have a tasty open thread today so head on over.
Quick note 2: I paywalled “The Code of the Cop Bar,” the latest chapter of FORTY BUCKS AND A DREAM, STORIES OF LOS ANGELES, in hopes of getting some of you to become paying subscribers. FAIL! No one did; geez you guys are stubborn. I get that your Substack outlays might be going through the roof, so I am un-paywalling it for you here EVEN IF YOU DON’T DESERVE IT, as well as giving you another shot…
I agree with Schmancy about the ambient male hating rhetoric. It's a bummer to hear "male tear" jokes even as a woman. Also, during anti-man rants, there's some kind of explanation why the speaker is on the verge of divorce--Next stop feminist commune--to which I say, are you fucking kidding me? An all woman commune is my idea of perfect hell.
Nancy, the last paragraph is powerful and beautiful.