Until I became a senior prosecutor, like most people, I had only very occasional encounters with true sociopaths.
Eventually I was both explaining the pathology to jurors and both giving speeches and writing op-eds about "anti-social personality disorder" because it is so alien to most people it would be like trying to explain the wonderful taste of a sauce to someone who lacked taste buds.
I explained that in crime there was a "food pyramid" much like the now-outdated USDA one we saw in schools - At the base of 75% of felons were the drug addicts, lazy, impaired, slightly mean and selfish people who were not evil, but consistently made bad and selfish choices. At the next level, at 15-20% were the professional criminals, professional bank robbers, drug dealers who did NOT get "high on their own supply," essentially people who made a career decision like many gangsters that crime was a good choice...for them.
Then at the top, usually no more than 5% of serious criminals, were the sociopaths. Not psychopaths, which generally includes people with delusional thought disorders which can be treated, but the symptoms Nancy enumerated from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association.
There is no medication, no therapy that cures sociopathy. A few of them can channel their extreme self-centered behavior and ironically can really prosper as lawyers or in the upper reaches of the entertainment industry. Think of the advantages you have if the consequences to other people played absolutely no matter in your decisions? But the ones I met in court are profoundly scary people - usually not to me personally, because they targeted vulnerable people.
One not need believe in God to realize that evil exists, and sometimes walks in the front door.
Oh boy. This is my stepdaughter to a T. Last week, it appears that because I am obsessed with her, I paid one of my employees to join the private club she is a member of. Also, when my dog peed on the sidewalk what looked like his name in cursive I went through elaborate means to manufacture it. Thank god my husband and her mom have my back.
Good article, though I wonder if focusing on the personality of such an obvious case obfuscates the bigger problem of people we all know who are much more subtle about it, as that’s certainly a much larger population.
It's frustrating sometimes, and sad, even occasionally enraging, but hand to heart it's also sometimes funny because the stories/strategies Igor pushes are so transparently bad.
I'm sorry you and your daughter had to deal with that. I've had a few narcissists in my life and they have been frustrating enough but I can't think (so far) of a true sociopath that has at least targeted me in my personal sphere. Avoidance truly is the only way unfortunately for both however.
Until I became a senior prosecutor, like most people, I had only very occasional encounters with true sociopaths.
Eventually I was both explaining the pathology to jurors and both giving speeches and writing op-eds about "anti-social personality disorder" because it is so alien to most people it would be like trying to explain the wonderful taste of a sauce to someone who lacked taste buds.
I explained that in crime there was a "food pyramid" much like the now-outdated USDA one we saw in schools - At the base of 75% of felons were the drug addicts, lazy, impaired, slightly mean and selfish people who were not evil, but consistently made bad and selfish choices. At the next level, at 15-20% were the professional criminals, professional bank robbers, drug dealers who did NOT get "high on their own supply," essentially people who made a career decision like many gangsters that crime was a good choice...for them.
Then at the top, usually no more than 5% of serious criminals, were the sociopaths. Not psychopaths, which generally includes people with delusional thought disorders which can be treated, but the symptoms Nancy enumerated from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association.
There is no medication, no therapy that cures sociopathy. A few of them can channel their extreme self-centered behavior and ironically can really prosper as lawyers or in the upper reaches of the entertainment industry. Think of the advantages you have if the consequences to other people played absolutely no matter in your decisions? But the ones I met in court are profoundly scary people - usually not to me personally, because they targeted vulnerable people.
One not need believe in God to realize that evil exists, and sometimes walks in the front door.
Oh boy. This is my stepdaughter to a T. Last week, it appears that because I am obsessed with her, I paid one of my employees to join the private club she is a member of. Also, when my dog peed on the sidewalk what looked like his name in cursive I went through elaborate means to manufacture it. Thank god my husband and her mom have my back.
Oh man. It’s a trial for sure
Among the many things that I’m grateful for, one is that I don’t have anyone like this in my life. Damn. I’m sorry Nancy.
I’m glad you don’t too!
I know Igors.
We have our next podcast...
Good article, though I wonder if focusing on the personality of such an obvious case obfuscates the bigger problem of people we all know who are much more subtle about it, as that’s certainly a much larger population.
Narcissistic behavior is traumatizing to those on the receiving end. Personal experience. You are not always wrong. Be yourself.
Sounds like Igor could have a presidential run in him.
Strong urge to push Igor off a bridge...
Empathy will come later, I guess?
It's frustrating sometimes, and sad, even occasionally enraging, but hand to heart it's also sometimes funny because the stories/strategies Igor pushes are so transparently bad.
Wow, I'd be a much less happy person if I had to deal with the things you're writing about. I will count my blessings and wish you the best.
I'm sorry you and your daughter had to deal with that. I've had a few narcissists in my life and they have been frustrating enough but I can't think (so far) of a true sociopath that has at least targeted me in my personal sphere. Avoidance truly is the only way unfortunately for both however.
The short book "The Sociopath Next Door" is insightful and worth a read.
Yes I linked it here.